Monday, December 22, 2008

Experiment 1: Polyphasic Sleep

This is the hare-brained scheme that spawned the blog...

A quick and dirty explanation of polyphasic sleep

Most people sleep monophasically (one block of six or eight hours, or however much it is that normal people sleep) or biphasically (one block at night, with a siesta sometime during daylight hours). A polyphasic sleeper would instead sleep in many smaller blocks throughout the day. Sounds inconvenient, eh? Why would anyone want to disrupt their day by taking a bunch of naps, right? The catch: your body needs less total sleep on a polyphasic schedule. On the particular schedule I'll be using, known as the Uberman Sleep Schedule (pretentious, I know), I will be taking six 20-minute naps every 24 hours. I'll only need to spend a total of two hours asleep per day; I'll get 22 waking hours, with no appreciable sleep deprivation!
Impossible, you say? O, ye of little faith! Let me explain. REM sleep is the most (and arguably only) crucial part of the sleep cycle. We know this, and most importantly, our bodies know this. When push comes to shove, our bodies will opt for getting enough REM sleep over going through all the different phases of the sleep cycle. Coincidentally, the average human being only needs two hours of REM sleep per day. The trick to sleeping polyphasically is that the body is trained to get only REM sleep, cutting out the rest of the sleep cycle.
It works (well, we'll see, won't we?), like this: Every four hours, I'll take a 20-minute nap. That is, for every four hour period, I'll spend 20 minutes asleep and 220 minutes awake. After the first few days, I will have accumulated, ironically, a significant sleep debt. In a desperate bid for survival, my body will adapt by going into REM sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, giving me 20 minutes of pure REM sleep. For the first two weeks or so, as I compensate for those few days of sleep debt, those 20-minute naps will be closer to 25 or 30 minutes long, but after the adaptation phase is over, each nap should actually last 20 minutes.

Those are the essentials of polyphasic sleep. Not quick, perhaps, but certainly dirty. I'm usually much more scientifically rigorous (many, many citations needed; *hangs head in abject shame*), but I can't be bothered to write a paper over winter break.

Polyphasic Sleep and Me (aka What you need to know about your test subject)
As you have probably guessed, I'm a college student who simply wants more time in her day. Yes, I am female, contrary to the popular assumption that no female homo sapiens would consent to a moniker with the word "pig" in it. (Other creatures may have different, or nonexistent, misconceptions of the much-maligned genus Sus -- but that is a whole other kettle of fish.) I'm omnivorous, not particularly athletic, bookish (though not myopic), right handed, semi-nocturnal (even more so than your stereotypical college student), etc. Consider this a brief and not necessarily relevant (and certainly not comprehensive) list of independent variables.
Now that introductions are out of the way (as far as one can get to know an anonymous entity on the internet), regarding the experiment itself... It would seem that the most important elements are discipline and willpower: discipline to adhere to such a strict and unorthodox schedule, and willpower to drag myself out of bed during those critical first days, when I'm racking up the sleep debt and would like nothing better than to hibernate for a week. It sounds like a tall order, no? Fortunately, I have a support group of sorts -- a small one, as I have only found two people crazy enough to attempt this with me. I shall call them Caradoc and Aethelwine (names changed to protect the innocent). (Actually, Caradoc may not end up following through.) They plan on starting about two weeks before I do, so that they will be adjusted by the time winter quarter starts. A very good idea, but one which requires parents with a good dose of forbearance, alas. I will be going through the adaptation phase while attending classes, doing my numerous extracurriculars, and attempting not to crash my bike. I'm quite serious about the last bit; studies have shown that severe sleep-deprivation behind the wheel (or handlebars, as the case may be) is akin to inebriation therein. I may end up walking.

But I digress, as I am wont to do. My apologies, by the way, for the slightly incoherent nature of this post; it was not written in one sitting, though that is no excuse.

Is there anything else you should know? I suppose that's what comments are for.

2 comments:

  1. I THINK YOU AND THE WORDS "SCIENTIFICALLY RIGOROUS" SHOULD BE BIFFFLES

    COMME MOI ET TOI, BB.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahahhahahahahahah oh, i wish you soooo much luck!!
    xox

    ReplyDelete